ETIQUETTE
Despite
strict caste regulations, the code of etiquette is simple and
reasonable; a general air of frankness and friendliness prevails
in daily intercourse, and it is only in the resence of an arrogant
prince that the common man has to humiliate himself; even more
polite treatment is given to a high priest. From the beginning
a stranger is struck by the extreme politeness and gentle manners,
even in the lower classes. The strongest criticism that can be
made of a person is that he has no manners. Such a freak should
be avoided.
One
is greeted on the road with the words: Lungga kidia, Where to?
" and a visitor is welcomed with: " Wau rauh, Just arrived."
These are formulas not to be taken in their literal sense. A visitor
takes leave by asking to be excused: " Tiang pamit,"
the answer to which is simply " Yes," "ingih"
There are no other words for greeting or for good-bye. It is not
polite to answer a question with monosyllables, and one should
not point with. The index finger. It is better to use the words
for the cardinal to indicate direction, but if one must point,
it should be with the thumb, holding the rest of the band closed.
The
Balinese are constantly paying visits to one another, but no one
would dream of making a formal visit without bringing along a
gift of some sort: fruit, rice, eggs, or chickens, given casually
and received without a word of thanks. It is taken for. granted
that the present is appreciated by the acceptance but if one wants
to be over-polite, one says: " Tiang nunas", "want
it " or " I like it " (ideh in the common language)
object is banded with the right band while touching the elbow
with the left, and it is received with the same gesture.
The
gift-problem became acute for us as we entered in competition
with our friends and neighbors for more and valuable presents.
Someone would arrive with a basket of egg or rice; we repaid the
visit taking a cheap bead-cloth. On the next visit they came with
piles of fruit and even live chicken we had to rush to the market
to buy a batik shirt or a bottles of Javanese perfume. We generally
ended by exchanging brocades krisses, and so forth for pieces
of silk, flashlights, and fountain pens. The Balinese are very
much concerned with the price paid for an object, and they always
insisted on knowing what we paid . for a present, until we realized
that it was a great mistake, to remove move the price tags. When
we bought new glasses or new Plates, Dog, our house-boy, washed
them carefully around the la as not to rub off the price.
It
is necessary to be properly dressed to pay or to receive a, visit
The breasts of men and women should be covered by a special breast-cloth,
a saput for men and a selendang for women. People in the house
always dashed for their breast-cloth, usually an ordinary foreign
towel, when a special guest arrived. Immediately the visitor was
provided with green coconuts to quench his thirst, with cigarettes
and betel-nut. Up-to-date Balinese like to , offer soda-pop, coffee
and Chinese pastries. The chewing bete]-nut is the first gesture
of hospitality and the main social pastime of the entire archipelago.
To chew betel, a piece of the green nut of the betel palm is dabbed
with a little lime, wrapped in pepper leaves, sirih, and the whole
chewed together with a large wad of shredded tobacco that is held
under a monstrously protruding lower lip. The combination of betel,
sirih, and lime produces an abundant flow of saliva, red as blood,
and the betel addict spits constantly, leaving crimson splotches
wherever he goes. After certain guests departed, our house-boy
always -had to wash the veranda steps because they looked as if
a murder bad been committed on them. Today betel-chewing is not
favoured by the younger generation, not only because it looks
so disagreeable, but because it spoils the teeth. The older the
person, the fonder he is of betel, and the ingredients are always
kept on hand in boxes with little compartments or in special satchels
of woven pandanus. Old men without teeth have a special bamboo
tube with an iron rod to mash the various ingredients together.
The sirih, betel, and lime are presented to guests in little ready-made
packages often beautifully decorated with streamers of delicately
cut-out palm-leaf. They are called tian2ng or bas6h, a gift.
A host must act as servant to his guests, himself attending to
their comfort and not partaking of the refreshments. Meals are
also served by the host, even if he has servants and assistants,
and he can eat only after the guests have finished. If the visitors
come from another village, they are expected to stay for the night
and even for days at a time. The place of honour in the house
is then assigned to them. After a reasonable period of time the
visit is repaid and the presents reciprocated.
Very
strict are the rules between men and women. On public occasions
men and women keep to themselves in separate groups, and people
from Gianyar are shocked to see the sexes mingle in Badung while
watching a show. In the same manner the people of Badung are disgusted
because in Tabanan men and women bathe near together. It is rude
to look into a public bath and even worse to enter it unless to
bathe. Then the other bathers become figuratively invisible. Great
courtesy is shown even among people are intimate and it is extremely
unusual for a man to get "fresh " with a girl in public;
should it happen, the man would be severely punished. Thus a woman
can confidently remain in her house while her male relatives are
away at work, and a girl can go anywhere without fear of being,
aproached by a stranger. Girls of high caste usually go chaperoned.
Lovers are particularly careful not to show their emotions in
public.
To
neglect releasing a loud belch after a meal would be taken by
the host as a sign that the food was not satisfactory. In general
the Balinese are very frank in actions that would be out the question
among us, such as clearing the throat, spitting, I so forth. These
are perfectly normal actions no one needs, conceal.
But
the key to Balinese etiquette among the castes consists in the
language spoken and in keeping at the proper level. Under no circumstance
should a common man stand higher than aristocrat. If a lowly person
has to pass a nobleman who is sitting he stoops in front of him
until he is reasonably far away, and to address his superior he
must squat or sit on the ground clasping his hands together in
front of his chest or over his left shoulder. To retire, after
begging leave, he walks backwards, stooping holding his bands
clasped.